Is Influencing People That Difficult???
We come across 1000’s of new and familiar faces every day. They may be in the form of strangers, in the form of colleagues, in the form of lift-men and various other forms but at the end of the day they are human beings .Do we really make any effort to make them remember us? Probably the answer is a “NO”. Here are a few instances that may be helpful in influencing people. These instances are taken from well known books which when compiled together give a meaningful message.
Mr. X is a safety coordinator for an engineering company. One of his responsibilities is to see that employees wear their hard hats whenever they are on the field. He reported that whenever he came across workers who were not wearing hard hats, he would instruct them with a lot of authority and expected the employees to comply with. As a result he would get sullen acceptance, and often after he left, the workers would remove the hats. He decided to try a different approach. The next time he found some of the workers not wearing their hard hat, he asked if the hats were uncomfortable or did not fit properly. Then he reminded the men in a pleasant tone of voice that the hat was designed to protect them from injury and suggested that it should always be worn on the job. This resulted in increased compliance with no resentment or any one being emotionally upset.
Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out what they do and why they do so. That’s a lot better than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness. “To know all is to forgive all.” Dr. Johnson has rightly said: “God himself, sir, does not propose to judge a man until the end of his days.” Then why should you or I?
Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
One of my friend’s friend told me of a request made by his wife. She and a group of other women in her church were involved in a self-improvement program. She asked her husband to help her by listing six things he believed she could do to help her become a better wife. My friend’s friend said, “I was surprised by such a request. Frankly, it would have been easy for me to list six things I would like to change about her – my heavens, she could have listed a thousand things she would like to change about me – but I didn’t. I told her, ‘Let me think about it and give you an answer in the morning.’ The next morning I got up early and called the florist and had them send six red roses to my wife with a note saying, ‘I can’t think of six things I would like to change about you. I love you the way you are. ‘When I arrived at home that evening, who do you think greeted me at the door. That’s right. My wife! She was almost in tears. Needless to say, I was extremely glad I had not criticized her as she had requested.”
This was a honest appreciation given by a husband.
Give honest and sincere appreciation.
Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, “I like you, you make me happy. I am glad to see you.” That is why dogs make such a hit. They are so glad to see us that they almost jump out of their skins. So, naturally, we are glad to see them.
A baby’s smile has the same effect. Have you ever been to a doctor’s waiting room and looked around at all the glum faces waiting impatiently to be seen? Dry Stephen K .Sproul, a veterinarian in Raytown, Missouri, told of a typical spring day when his waiting room was full of clients waiting to have their pets inoculated. No one was talking to anyone else, and all were probably thinking of a dozen other things they would rather be doing than “wasting time” sitting in that office. He told: “There were six or seven clients waiting when a young woman came in with a nine-month-old baby and a kitten. As luck would have it, she sat down next to a gentleman who was more than a little distraught about the long wait for service. The next thing he knew, the baby just looked up at him with that big smile which is a characteristic of babies. What did that gentleman do? Just what you and I would do, of course, he-smiled back at the baby. Soon he struck up a conversation with the woman about her baby and his grandchildren, and soon the entire reception room joined in, and the boredom and tension converted into a pleasant and enjoyable experience.”
Practicing these in your daily lives will not only make people remember you but also helps in networking, building good relationships and to build loyal clients and customers. Small instances but big impact, practicing these is not going to cost you anything nor does going to affect your status instead it add on to your personality. How many of us take the pain of asking the name of the lift operators who help us on daily basis? How many of us take the pain of asking the name of the cooks who serve us the food? Rarely anyone does. Three small actions…big impact…
And yeah, influencing people is not that difficult.